KALI CARBONICUM IN RELATIONSHIPS-

KALI CARBONICUM IN RELATIONSHIPS

Kali Carbonicum’s three main issues in life are: fear of aloneness, irritability,

and a tendency to be outrageously unkind to the people in her life, and
these issues can affect Kali’s relationships in many different ways.
When interviewing Kalis about their childhood experiences, I am struck
by how many fond memories they often have. One Kali Carbonica woman told
me that she felt closest to her mom, who encouraged everyone to truly be themselves.
Her father was rather strict and stern and wasn’t around very much, but
they were still very close to each other as a family. She described how they were
always doing things together, like playing together and going on outings, picnics
and family re-unions. She told me that once you are part of the family, you can’t
do anything to get out of it. Even if you do something the family disapproves of,
they may pretend it never happened, but they would never even consider disowning
anyone. She also explained how, when she became a teenager and
needed more space to do her own things, the connection to her family was
almost too much because there was always something they were supposed to be
doing together.
When she was a child, she used to play with her brother and sister, and
the neighbor’s children. One of the hardest thing she experienced as a child was
when she went inside to get a drink, or to use the bathroom, and the other
children were gone when she came back out. If they had run away, or if they
were hiding from her somewhere, she felt totally left out, sad and forsaken. She
felt that you should always be able to depend on your family and friends, and
that nobody should ever have to be left out of the group.
I have seen the same tendency in other Kali clients as well. One Kali
woman was a sports enthusiast, and most of her friends were team mates. Her
father had taught her how to be good in sports, and that became the way she
chose to relate to people and make friends. Another Kali joined a local religious

FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE IMPORTANT Kali Carbonicum

group and spent much of her spare time pursuing her religious interests with
likeminded people. Kali feels anxious and vulnerable when she has to be alone,
and she is much happier if she can be part of a group of some kind.
A Kali is probably one of the best team mates you can find, whether it is
in sports or in business. They love company, and they like making decisions
together with others. In addition to being good team players, Kalis are reliable
and responsible by nature. If Kali says she is going to do something, you can
count on it. One Kali woman told me that she considers herself “overresponsible.”
She always tries to keep her word, even if she sometimes wishes
that she hadn’t committed herself in the first place. Another Kali woman was
working in a government building. She was so conscientious that she would go
to work an hour early every day, just to organize her desk and make sure she
was properly prepared for the work she was expected to do that day. That kind
of conscientiousness and dedication is very rare, so she is probably much appreciated
by the company she works for.
Kalis are often so reliable that people find it easy to trust them. They
usually stick to the rules and do what is expected, and they have a good eye for
detail. They work systematically and often do well in areas of science and research.
Kali’s whole life revolves around relationships, family relationships, work
relationships or groups of friends doing things together. Kali may have a hard
time dealing with casual contacts. They often don’t feel socially at ease unless
they know they have common areas of interest, so they do better when joining
some kind of group first, and then getting to know the people in the group. Light
and superficial “chit-chat” usually doesn’t appeal to Kali at all.
There are certain issues that often show up more in Kali’s personal
relationships than in business relationships. In personal relationships Kali is,
first of all, looking for friendship, and secondly, intellectual connection. Kali
loves stimulating conversation, and because she is primarily a mental type, the
mental connection is very important to her. She often looks at everything from a
very rational point of view, and she can easily develop fixed ideas of how things
should be. Kali Carbonicum is a metal remedy, and metal remedies are often
stubborn when it comes to what they like or don’t like. Kali likes being in control;
and things need to make sense to her in a very logical way. If someone acts
irrationally in any way, Kali will step in and give advice or criticism, regardless
of whether someone has asked her for advice, or not. She has good intentions
and means well when she expresses her opinions. She only expresses what
makes sense to her, and she is convinced that her advice is in the other person‘s
best interest. If, however, the other person doesn’t take her advice, she often
feels offended and irritable. This can lead to discontent and general irritability
and quarrelsomeness. We can often see this kind of irritability and desire to

scold or criticize, especially towards her mate or children, if they don’t listen to
her advice. In this situation, Kali may not treat any of them very nicely, hence
the rubric “Company, desire for, treats them outrageously, yet“.
Kali’s stubbornness can also make her less spontaneous than other types,
and this can also become an issue in her relationships. She likes to stick with a
daily routine, and she likes planning things ahead of time in a logical manner.
She is not too happy when someone spontaneously wants her to change her
plans. A Kali would probably never go on a vacation without having a proper
travel itinerary. She would like to know, ahead of time, where she is going to
stay, what she is going to see, and how long she is going to be in each place. She
simply doesn’t like surprises because surprises aren’t always pleasant, and she
always feels better when she is more in control.
However, the lack of spontaneity is often well balanced with what Kali
has to offer in a relationship. She is loyal, dedicated to her family, responsible,
trustworthy and consistent in her views. She has a great ability to create a safe,
secure environment for herself, her mate and her children. She shares her sense
of integrity and values with the people in her life, and in return she needs other
people’s support so she can also feel secure. Kali feels the happiest in relationships
where everyone involved value mutual dependence and togetherness, and
everybody supports everybody else. In this kind of relationship, she will always
feel a great sense of belonging that quickly puts her mind at ease.